It’s kind of shocking when your world falls to pieces and everything and everyone around you carries on with life. How is it possible that the birds continue to sing? How can people carry on loving life? The days after my miscarriage I felt like I became frozen in time and I was watching my life like a movie. But slowly slowly my life becomes more real again.
I always considered myself to be the type of person who could make it through anything. Yet this experience has allowed me to discover a new degree of mental and emotional strength that I could have never imagined to be possible.
Break the cycle of #silentsisterhood
A few days after my miscarriage I wrote down our story. I wanted to break the cycle of #silentsisterhood and create a world where woman feel comfortable sharing their experience and a miscarriage is no longer a taboo subject. I showed it to my Sushine and asked him: “do you think I should publish it?” Immediate he replied without hesitation: “yes you should, I think it’s beautiful and very brave. Don’t be scared, you will be surprised.”
The next day I woke up and checked my phone. I couldn’t believe it, my inbox was full of message of friends and complete strangers from all over the world that were all saying the same: you are not alone, it happened to me too. Another life lesson learned: if you show your vulnerability most likely others feel comfortable enough to do the same.
Thank you so much to everyone who reached out to us in these dark days. Knowing that we were not alone brought us enormous comfort and strength. The pain will pass, the sun will rise again and there will be a day somewhere in the near future with no more tears.
Friends are the best medicine
My friends and my Sunshine are the best medicine for my wounded heart and the vitamins for my hopeful soul. I always knew that I have the most incredible friends in the whole universe but in the last week even I got surprised by their awesomeness. When we came home the other night Andreas asks me: “Did you see the flowers on the table?” I’m confused by his question, what is he talking about? I walk to our field kitchen and find a huge bouquet of flowers with a little note next to it:
Dear Rosie, these beautiful flowers are here to let you know that I’m thinking of you. You are my sweet sister, my rockstar! I might be far away but you are always in my thoughts. I promise you, everything will be alright. Love you, Mieke
I have tears in my eyes and a smile on my face and feel so confused. How is it even possible that I find a note of one of my best friends that lives on the other side of the world on my kitchen table?
I look at my Sunhine, he couldn’t have done this, he was with me the whole evening. How did Mieke arrange this, she doesn’t even know anyone on this island! It turns out that she send a message to our business partner in crime Oceans5 to ask if they can help her to put fresh flowers in our camp with little note of love.
A blanket of love
There is nothing more powerful than an outstretched hand of another woman in your direction. I’m so grateful that I these types of soulful connections; they keep me grounded and feeling supported. Two of my best friends came to visit me last week. I know how busy their lives are and that they made the effort to come from Bali and all the way Sulawesi meant the world to me. It felt so good to have them so close to me and to hold their hand and cry and laugh together.
Your donation really makes a difference!
Before I continue my day in our little broken paradise I want to take another moment to thank everyone who donated to our campaign. On the 1st of September we paid all our boys their salaries. It was incredible to see the look on their faces. Herman for example, who lost his house and is living in a refugee camp, couldn’t believe it when we told him he would receive a full salary. “Boss I don’t understand, why do I get so much money, because many days I don’t come to work this month?” We explained to him that our friends, family and complete strangers are supporting him and that they made sure that, although Villa Nangka is closed, he will still get a salary. With tears in his eyes he accepted his envelop.
There are no words that can describe the big impact that a donation can have on someone his life. We don’t live in a perfect world, and there’s never going to be a perfect time to give—but there are so many people out there in need of help. Don’t just think of your cash donation from a western economic perspective. You don’t need $10,000 to make a difference in someone’s life. Here in Indonesia $10 goes a long way.