And suddenly there they are: tears, perfectly round tears. It starts with just a few drops but quickly it feels like monsoon season. It’s February and we still didn’t start rebuilding our dream.
What do you do when you are ready to jump but someone holds you back? I know from the start that project CINLOC would have delays, every building project in the world does, but we are already two months behind schedule and I don’t have much patience left. The days are passing by and it just feels like nothing is happening. Of course this is not completely true, a lot of things are happening behind the scenes, we just didn’t start building yet.
Delays, delays, delays…
Drawings were late, calculations had to be redone, models went missing and we figured out along the way that the contractor that was supposed to build the new Villa Nangka could not be trusted and we decided to search for another contractor.
We went to Bali to and found a very experienced company specialized in bamboo. They will come and visit us today to discuss our plans and see the building site. Fingers crossed we can come to an agreement and we can finally start!
Where does time go?
I will be the first to admit that it’s hard to have patience in a world that moves so very quickly, where time passes in the blink of an eye. We live in a fast paced world. Everything is in constant motion, and everything is changing. On the one hand you can’t rush timing, and on the other hand, you see that time is slipping away from you and feel as though you can barely hold on. But where does it go?
It’s hard to process that time will not stop for us. It will not stand still for you, for me, or for anyone. It will never be on our terms. And so, it’s up to us to make the most of the time we have. We have to decide where we will choose to spend our energy, and what we will stop worrying about. We have to accept that we will never fully understand life’s timing, even though we are and will forever remain at its mercy. And still through all of this, somehow we must make way for patience. I can tell you, it’s not an easy job!
What it means to have patience
Patience means remembering that although time keeps ticking, the best things in life have always been, and are still, worth waiting for. And that good things really are coming to those who wait. I know that when we look back in a few years that it really doesn’t matter if we re-opened Villa Nangka in June or August but in this moment it feels like it will make all the difference! I’m done with looking at the rubble and the mess. I want to see builders walking around, I want to see the stones that will make the new walls, and I want to see the bamboo that will create new stunning roofs we designed.
But I’m slowly learning that things that didn’t work out will eventually work out. Nothing remains the same forever. I won’t always be stuck in a rut. I won’t always feel lost. I won’t always be lonely.My tears will dry.
I’m slowly learning that life is not supposed to be easy and it’s not always supposed to add up but somehow it works out. Somehow it pieces itself back together after falling apart. Somehow it makes sense after driving you completely insane.